It's something we've known and talked about for months. We "knew" before we "knew", if that makes sense. So why am I still so shocked?
I did research. I talked to pediatricians, friends and therapists. There were days I googled myself into a frenzy, spending their entire 2-3 hour nap frantically researching anything and everything. I think I reached the end of the internet trying to find any other possible or logical explanation for why she is the way she is besides Autism. It had to be something else. When we first started noticing that something was "off", my first thought was 'nothing can be wrong with her, she's so pretty.' I mean, REALLY, how delusional is that?
Unfortunately that's just simply not the truth. All the signs and 'red flags' as all the medical stuff calls it, pointed to Autism.
My Mom told me that if we didn't know for sure yet, if her diagnosis appointment had been a month from now, I would still be carrying on today as any other typical day. And I know that's true so why does it feel so different?
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